8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
