love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
