Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
