Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
