I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
