i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
