That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
