omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Screwed.edu
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
