babies were throwing up all over the place
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
