Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
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