i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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