I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I have feelings that need drinking.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
