WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
