Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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