I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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