I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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