Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
