that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
