jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
