So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
