Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Blood and glitter go together right?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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