We're facebook friends in real life
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
