Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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