i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
