TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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