Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
