absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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