this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Randomize
