clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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