is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
