I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
