im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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