Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
