Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
