i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
