have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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