and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
