nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
