If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
