yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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