I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I have demons in me.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
