All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
