Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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