he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
