dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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