I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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