Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
