your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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