she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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