but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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