I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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