I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
