Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
