i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
