Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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